Since Christmas is over.....all of the sudden my landmark for the baby is gone! Leaving me feeling completely unprepared and apprehensive about this baby that is only weeks away. I haven't been able to sleep since Christmas Eve. (Cuz honestly...I never sleep Christmas eve cuz I was just too excited to see Caleb's face in the morning). But after that.....there's still no rest. Now my mind is chalked full of things that I need to get, and things that need to be done before the little girl gets here. Luckily, my mother-in-law has been buying clothes and sewing blankets and burp-rags for this baby girl (I think she may be more excited than I am....at least not as nervous that's for sure). She gave me a TON of really cute stuff. And then my sister has graciously let me borrow all of her baby girl clothes. So I've got plenty of that. But.....there's still so much I DON'T have!
Caleb's been potty trained for over six months now, and we haven't got any baby wipes!! We've been stocking up on baby diapers....but I completely forgot about wipes!! I've got all of Caleb's old bottles, but they probably all need new nipples. And formula. Sigh. Oh formula. Terrible, expensive, but entirely essential formula. Yes I am gonna breast-feed. But sometimes you still need to suppliment. I'm gonna have to bite the bullet. Did you know that stuff is like 20 bucks a can?!! Ahh the days of wic.
I have no nursing apparel (bra, pads, etc). And I realized last night I don't even have a pacifier! Okay...enough with the list of things I DON'T have. Because all that is easily remidied with a trip to the store. But I can't seem to ease my mind. I am WAY more nervous for this baby than I was for Caleb. I think it must be because I already HAVE a kid. Am I ready to take on two? My mind is an endless web of nervous thoughts. And meanwhile my belly grows ever larger, and my back continues to ache. I can't wait to sleep on my back.
The other night I had a dream about my baby girl. It's the first time I actually had a visual. She was beautiful....and tiny. Then she grew, and her hair was long. Again....she was beautiful. I've been so busy this pregnancy, I've hardly even had time to think about HER. What if she looks like me? She will melt my heart the way Caleb does still today.....even though I truly can't imagaine loving anything as much as I love Caleb. But I know I will. I've heard how a mother's love is not divided, but simply grows. It seems impossible... I guess it's just something I'll have to experience.
I'm going to the doctor this afternoon.....maybe they'll tell me something that'll ease my mind about all this. Meanwhile......good luck to my sister, Robyn, who's having HER baby girl today (if it hasn't already happened). I'll see you on skype sis!
2 comments:
Heather, try formula from Costco. It's 1/2 the price and just as good as the enfamil and similac stuff. Granted you spend $20 a pop, but you get two reg size cans. Plus, you are forced to buy two, so you aren't rushing to the store every week just for another $20 can of formula. :) Good luck! You'll be fine!
and don't forget you will get a lot of stuff from the hospital too, pacifier, formula samples, diapers, just keep asking for stuff. Not being able to blog for the last few months I forgot how far along you are. She will be here before you know it!
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