Interviews and Miracles

A few weeks before Thanksgiving, I got a phone call from a representative from Patterson Dental.  She said one of her offices in Boise is going to be hiring a full-time hygienist.  I called the office, and got my resume' sent right away.  2 days later I saw the position advertised on Craigslist.  Eek.  I knew the competition just got way worse with this ad.  There are SOOOO many hygienists in Boise that are looking for work.  

I landed myself a working interview, and I felt like it went pretty well.  I liked the office.  It reminded me of Dr. Thompson's office a lot.  They said it would be a few weeks before they made a decision.  So, more waiting.  Still not used to all the waiting.  It's so hard.  Thanksgiving came and went, and I still hadn't heard.  I started having days where the anxiety was really putting me in a bad place.  Finally after being on the verge of tears for almost 2 entire days (Because, if they hadn't called me yet, they probably weren't going to call me at all.  I was convinced that they had hired somebody else and just forgotten to call and tell me to give up hope for this one) I decided to put myself out of all the misery and just call them.  It took me so much courage to make this phone call.  After putting myself into a complete cold sweat, I dialed the number and held my breath.  She told me that they hadn't hired anybody yet.  Relieved, I told her that I was still interested and waiting to hear when they had made a decision.  She promised to call me once they had.  

So that conversation carried me through another week.  The anxiety was starting to creep back in though.  Why is this taking so long?  I was checking my phone between every patient.  It doesn't make sense.  Their hygienist was already gone!  Why are they waiting so long to hire somebody?  Maybe they're waiting so long because they haven't found the right candidate yet, which would mean I am NOT it.  I prayed for this job every day.  I begged for it.  It's the only opening.  I wanted nothing more than to have my family back together.  We could face anything if we could just be together again.  

Then last week I got the call of all calls.  It was from my Dad of all people.  (My dad really doesn't call me that much.  And I don't usually call him unless I can't get ahold of Mom).  So I called him back, and he informed me that Dr. Ririe (his dentist.....also used to be MY dentist when I was a kid) had called him asking if I could send him my resume' again, because he MAY have an opening for a hygienist.  

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!  Dr. Ririe?!   People.  There are HUNDREDS of dentists in the Treasure Valley.  And if I could have my PICK for who to work for.  IT would be Dr. Ririe.  He used to be in my mom and dad's ward.  And Anna used to work for him as an Assistant.  Yes.  HE called ME.  He wanted MY resume'!  So I ran to the computer and e-mailed it to him.  Then I decided I should call and try to talk to him.  

I got lucky again (we all know luck had absolutely nothing to do with it) when I called, he was at lunch, and I was able to talk with HIM.  I NEVER get to talk to the Doctor!

I asked him about this "opening."  His words were,

"We are in the process of creating a full-time position for a Hygienist."  He asked me about school, and about my experience with Dr. Thompson (oh...and did you know....Dr. Thompson used to be the ISDA president about 6 years ago, and so they totally know each other).  He said he'd call me later that day after he had spoken with the other 2 dentists in the office to see if they would like to interview me.

I was elated!  And I continued to check my phone every hour.  I went home, and still hadn't heard anything.  I went to work the next day, and the anxiety was starting to set in again.  Should I pull Caleb out of school on Friday so that I can be there if they want to interview me?  Caleb has missed a LOT of Fridays since we made the decision to move to Boise.  That evening (Thursday night) I decided to pack up the kids and just go to Boise.  This was too big of a deal to risk missing a chance for an interview because I wasn't in town.  About 5 minutes into my drive, I got a call from the office manager.  She apologized for making me wait for the call.  She was having difficulty hearing from all 3 of the doctors about whether they wanted to interview me or not.  I told her I was coming to Boise anyway, and that I'd be there if they wanted to meet me.

She called again 10 minutes later and told me that she managed to schedule 1 interview with Dr. Dan Bruce (the younger doctor) for Friday.  I was so glad I had decided to leave that night, instead of waiting for Caleb to get out of school Friday afternoon.  

A couple hours later I got an e-mail from Dr. Ririe, and he wanted to meet me for lunch.  

Apparently this opening is because they are getting ready to let their hygienist go.  She wasn't a "team player".....whatever that means.  Hopefully something that I AM.  :)   But for this reason, I couldn't do a working interview, and had to meet with the Dr.'s after hours so that rumors and suspicions would not spread.

The interviews went well.  Dr. Ririe is so friendly and chatty.  He even invited Parker to come to the lunch (which he did).  My interview with Dr. Bruce was much more formal, and business-like.  I am sure I was obviously much more nervous.  But, it still went pretty well I think.  They said they would notify me in a few days.

Yesterday was the "in a few days."  I got the call at about 9:30 in the morning.  They offered me the job!  And at the salary that I asked for.  And I start on January 2nd.

The past few days have been so surreal.  And when I actually take a minute to slow down and think about what just happened over the last week, I am amazed.  Completely amazed at the tender mercies that have brought us to where we are now.  It is a complete miracle that I got this job.  There is NO other word for it.  And I KNOW that it was a direct answer to all of the hundreds of prayers I have been saying over the past 3 months.  I was suffering.  Not physically, but emotionally.  And my heart was breaking, every single day that I had to live apart from my husband.  "How can it be the Lord's will that we live apart?" I would wonder.  And the Lord, in His mercy, saw that suffering and brought this next change in our lives to bring us back together.  It was nothing short of the hand of God.  If you read 2 blog posts back, you'll remember that I had moments when I would wonder why Heavenly Father would answer my prayers.  I never doubted that he could.....but I had moments when I wondered if he would.  For me.  Just me.  But I was blessed with more than just a job yesterday.  I was given an assurance.  A realization, that He not only hears every prayer and plea from my broken heart.....but he answers them.  This job is a hug.  And a comfort.  And I can't believe I ever doubted.  Because His love reaches all of us.  To every broken heart and lonely soul.  I am so grateful for the mercy of the Savior, and for the answers to prayers that DO come when we ask in faith.  

On Our Own

Parker started his new job on October 3rd.  He spends his week-days in Boise and stays at my mom and dad's house.  And the kids and I are still in Twin Falls.  The first couple weeks of this new routine was an emotional roller-coaster.  It's interesting how different it feels, even though in some ways it's not.  With Parker's job in Jackpot, there were MANY days when he would work late and come home after the kids had gone to bed.  But for some reason, doing it all "on my own" is different.  My best friend doesn't come home at all.  I have no adult to talk to after the kids have gone to bed.  I don't have the companionship I need.  I used to have days when I thought to myself, "I can do this on my own."  (You know, those days when you feel like you're doing everything yourself anyway).....I know.....a terrible thought.  I used to think I did so much on my own, because he worked so much.  Guess what people?  I had no idea how lonely "on my own" really is.  And ever since he started working in Boise, I have realized that HE is the reason for so much of what I do.  And HE is the one who makes me happy.  Of course my children bring me so much joy, but it's incomplete without him.  And it took me several weeks to get accustomed to this new routine.  I don't think I could ever get used to this permanently (and thank heavens I don't have to).  But I was at least able to make it through a few days in a row without crying.

I reverted to "survival mode" at home.  The kids received every "cop-out" meal I could think of.  Chicken nuggets.  Grilled cheese.  Chef Boyardee raviolis and canned green beans.  Microwave burritos.  Cold cereal.  Pancakes.  Ramen. (see below)

 

Fast food.  Turns out there's a big reason that I cook.  And it's not to feed my children.  It's for my husband.  I love making something that he loves!  And when you work all day, and come home to the house with 3 children and no husband......good food gets put on the back burner.  I quit going to Relief Society activities, and hanging out with friends.  Anything that would require more work for me was put to an end.  

Survival mode also included lots of TV and sticking Garrett in the high chair with junk food so that he wouldn't terrorize the house while I try to help Caleb with his homework.  (Which, by the way, I shouldn't really be doing....apparently math has changed since I was in school).  See below.

So, apparently I'm getting schooled in 2nd grade math.  The correct answer is "C" by the way (incase you couldn't figure it out like I couldn't).  
Garrett got his first haircut.  Shanna (our babysitter's sister) cut his hair for me.  This photo was taken just before his haircut.  I confess, I think I let it go a little longer than I should have....but his curls hid the length so well, I never realized exactly how long it was until Shasta put it in a ponytail that day!

Not long after Parker left, Garrett started saying "Daddy."  He says it whenever he hears his voice, even if it's just over the speaker phone.  And he always gets very excited.  "Daddy?!  Daddy?!"  He even says it when he first wakes up in the morning when he's waiting for somebody to come and get him. 

I've had to make a very special conscious effort to be patient with my children.  And usually Caleb is the one to remind me when I'm not, because he's the first to get offended when I raise my voice.  He's also the first to raise his voice back.  I've been trying to make him understand that telling him what to do (even if it is "stop it", or "go to bed") does not mean I'm yelling at him.  But I confess, I do more yelling than I should too.  Below is a picture of Angie, testing my patience..... 

It's a dress!  Made out of Daddy's ties!  What you don't see in this picture is behind that door, are the REST of daddy's ties that have been pulled down from their "tie-hanger" and scattered all over the closet floor.  But yes, the dress is beautiful Angie.

There's never the option to leave the kids at the house while I make a quick trip to the store.  Wherever I go, THEY go.  This summer I loved getting my grocery shopping done while everybody was still asleep at 6:00 in the morning.  Not an option now.  I've actually managed to do my grocery shopping on days I've gotten off 30-60 minutes early at the end of the day.  (Which happens sometimes, but I never know WHEN it's going to happen until it does).  And I'll just go to the store before picking up the kids at the end of the day.  So far, for most trips, I've managed to avoid packing them all into the store......except this day pictured below.  Yay for miniature shopping carts!

Halloween came so quickly.  And it went just as quickly.  Since it fell on a week-night, Parker couldn't be home for trick-or-treating.  I am so grateful that his parents decided to come out to Filer that evening.  Claudia took the kids out in the neighborhood, and Paul sat on the porch with little Garrett and handed out candy.  All I did was order pizza and spend almost the entire evening on the phone with Parker.  

I know, I should have taken more pictures.  Daddy didn't even get to see them in their costumes!  This one was the only one I got, and it was actually taken a couple of days before halloween.  But, remember people, SURVIVAL MODE here!  I had so much on my mind that night, that taking pictures really was not on my priority list (even if it should have been).  

Parker's office had a costume contest.  He had very limited resources to work with (since he wasn't at home) and at the last minute came up with this nerdy costume:

You wanna know what people said about it?

"Why didn't you dress up Parker?"

Yep.  He's a nerd anyway I guess. :)

Halloween is always a time when I like to challenge my pumpkin carving skills.  And every year, I manage to get better and better.  This year my pumpkin was going to be EPIC!  The best yet!  I spent days picking out the perfect carving!  And I even made sure I could draw it before attempting to carve:

I was pretty proud of my drawing.  If I can draw this, I can definitely carve it into a pumpkin.  Guess what?  Turns out I can't.  I spent one evening and stayed up till midnight.  I finished the carving, and it was terrible.  It did NOT look like the drawing.  And I was so upset, I threw the whole thing in the trash and that was the end of it.  I guess I'll try again next year.  And by then hopefully I'll only bite off what I know I can chew.

I also made the last minute decision to dress up to work.  Any chance to not wear scrubs to work right?! I found Parker's old baseball uniform, and wore it to work.  

We had some sick kids in the beginning of November.  I missed only one day of work, and we had fevers for Angie AND Garrett.  

Survival mode has meant lots of nights that go un-accounted for.  The kids go to bed at 8:00-8:30....and sometimes I don't go to bed till midnight.  What do I do?!  I don't really know.  It seems like I just get to going with what I want to do, and all of the sudden it's late.  I should have all the time in the world without a husband to give attention to in the evenings.....but I don't feel like I do.  Perfect example, this blog.  This post has taken me 6 weeks to write.  Sometimes I read.  Sometimes I watch TV.  Sometimes I just sit and mess with my phone.  The honest truth is, I'm hardly productive.  Why clean all this up when I can do it tomorrow when everything will be exactly the same then, whether I do it or not?.  It turns out my husband is a great source of motivation for me.  I don't want to do much of anything without him here.  

The days are slow.  And I have never been this stressed in my life.  It seems kind of pathetic when I think about it.  Stressed about what?  My life is really not hard in comparison to so many other people who have it worse than me.  But it is so hard to feel this way.  Powerless to change my circumstance.  The house is for sale.  And I've given my resume to nearly 100 doctors and had no interviews.  No job postings are EVER listed, and I check at least twice a day on at least 5 websites.  So yeah.  The days get pretty long, when you want nothing more than to have your family together again, and the only thing you can do to accomplish that....is wait.  

Parker is constantly encouraging me to stay positive.  I don't know how he does it.  On our first date he told me he was one of the happiest people I would ever meet.  I definitely can see it at this point in our lives, because even though I know he's lonely too....it really does seem like nothing gets him down.  He's just constantly trying to cheer me up.  I understand that the Lord's timing is always the best.  But spending every day just waiting and waiting for something to happen.  To get a call about the house.  To get a call about a job.  And neither ever happens.  

But Parker is positive and patient, and I guess I can be too.  But it's a daily effort for me.  Sometimes an effort for every MINUTE.  But as the weeks are turning to months, I'm starting to feel more okay with not knowing what's going to happen next.