Take Me Back

I was such a lucky teenager.  When I was young, I had an AMAZING group of close friends.  I'm sure there are many of you who can look back and smile on your high school years.  But I'd like to think that there was something unique about us.  Only it wasn't just one thing....it was a hundred little things.  The one thing that set us apart the most was the un-failing faith and testimony rooted deep within each one of my friends.  And because of that faith, each of my friends were GENUINELY good people.  And we had a lot of fun.  Looking back I just can't believe how much our parents let us play.  During the summer, we spent nearly every day together, and during school it was every weekend.  I have no doubt that my friends and I had more fun because we did NOT get into trouble.  I know in my case, my parents trusted me with them.  And by the time I graduated High School, I didn't even have a curfew and took the car whenever I wanted.  It was a trust that I earned over the span of 4 years.  And my parents loved my friends.  We spent our breaks and lunches at the seminary building, and even talked the seminary teachers into teaching a "summer seminary" course. 

Each of us is a musician.  Although we did not all begin at the same level, I am simply amazed at the talent and growth that has happened over the years.

The memories of my high school years are deeply engraved in the back of my mind.  They are a part of me, that has made me who I am.  These people helped me become who I am today.  And I cherish every moment of laughter, and every tear.

I would like to think that I remember my high school days better than most.  And it's for one simple reason.  I kept records.  Pictured below are SIXTEEN volumes of my own personal journals, written over the span of 8th through 12th grade. 

I wrote in them practically every day.  They also contain e-mails, notes, flyers, invitations, ticket stubs, and a few napkin roses.  My personal records are also made up of 3 complete photo albums, which also contain some journaling. 

Almost 10 years ago my friends and I decided to bury a time capsule.  It contained a video which also spanned our years together.  The video is nearly 3 hours long.  The time capsule also had some letters.  Each of us wrote a letter to ourselves, and a letter to our future spouse.  We decided we would open the time capsule once all of us had gotten married.  

Well.  The last of us (Pat) was married in the temple 2 weeks ago.  His reception in Boise brought us all back together for the first time in almost 10 years.  And last Saturday the five of us (along with our spouses and children) got together for a breakfast, and dug up the time capsule.   

In preparation for this event, I decided to search my journals so I could share some memories with my friends.  I spent hours reading and searching.  Because it was literally like searching for a needle in a haystack.  It's true that I had SO much written about each person in this group.  But in comparison to HOW MUCH I had written total (sixteen volumes) it was still quite the task to find the highlights and the cherished memories.  Reading through those journals made me realize how special these people were.  And that the emotions and thoughts of a teenage girl are IMPOSSIBLE to be understood (even to myself ten years later).  I relived moments that I had completely forgotten.  And along with laughter, and ENDLESS hours of talking on the phone, I remembered the moments of heartache and pain.  I am so amazed at how much I prayed, and studied my scriptures.  And that every time I had a sleep-over with one of my girlfriends, we would read our scriptures together before staying up late and talking until 2:00 in the morning.

The 3 nights before this event, it took me HOURS to fall asleep.  I can't believe how excited I was to see my friends again.  My mind was so crammed full of memories and excitement, that it made sleep EXTREMELY difficult to find (especially the night before).  

We found the time capsule, exactly where we had left it.  And then we all sat on the lawn together and opened it.  The best part was the letters.  The letter I had written to myself was folded in some intricate pattern that only a high school girl would know.  It contained mostly my testimony.  Firm and unshakable.  Tears came to my eyes as I read the words proclaiming my own faith as a seventeen year old girl.  They blew me away. 

"I have learned that the Lord is always there for me, even though I may think I don't deserve His companionship.  I have learned that I can feel the Spirit healing me.  I know He's there and I love my Savior.  I can feel His spirit inside my heart.  My testimony cannot be shaken.  I have learned that happiness is a choice and your attitude reflects everything.  I will marry in the temple and continually progress towards spiritual perfection."

 After we read our letters we watched the video.  I laughed so hard, I'm sure I looked ridiculous.  Because I must have been the only one who has not seen ANY of that footage since it was put together ten years ago.  Daniel made us each a DVD of the time capsule video. 

 After Pat's reception, we met up with a few more close friends at the Borup home and we all sat around the fire and made s'mores just like we used to.  I brought my photo albums, and we all flipped through the pictures and shared our memories with the guitar always playing in the background. 

There are some melodies that are so familiar.  Daniel played a song that He, Jeff, and I used to all sing together.  When he started to play, I couldn't remember the words...and then when the chorus came, it all came back to me as our voices began to blend together the way they used to.  And the flood of memories associated with that song.  Along with all the other old melodies we used to sing.  It brought a smile to my face that would not go away.  And now (2 days later) I still have "Like This" stuck in my head.

At the end of the time capsule video, there is a segment where I talk about each of my friends.  After watching that segment, I feel like my words that I used at that time, did not do justice to these friends of mine.  If I could say it now, I would want to say this:

Camille.  She is the best example I know of someone who is beautiful inside and out.  She taught me so much about how to care for my spirit.  And even now she sets such a good example by how she cares for her body.  She is organized, and keeps her life structured but simple.  I learned from her that time is precious, and that every minute of our lives can be dedicated to something productive and good.  She taught me that happiness is a choice, and sometimes a daily battle....but one worth fighting. And her laugh is the same, which I LOVE!

Jeff.  He is the epitome of RAW-TALENT.  He has so many gifts, and naturally understands everything he touches.  From musical instruments to computers, he amazes me.  Jeff also has the gift of laughter.  His silly/quirky personality brings light to days that are dull.  He finds humor in the little things.

Pat.  Pat is perseverant.  I would have never imagined that someone with such a happy personality and such a burning fire of faith would not have gotten married until he was 28 years old.  But through all that he went through, he never waivered.  He was picky in choosing his eternal companion, and has finally found his perfect match.  He was perseverant as a young man too.  He had to wait years to be baptized, but was never bitter at his parents for making him wait.  And as a young man, his musical talents were probably the least developed compared to the rest of us.  But Pat never gave up.  And I've heard him sing now.  I can't believe how much he has been able to build this talent.  I am SO proud of Pat.  And honored to have him as my friend.

Daniel.  He is soft-spoken and patient.  As a young girl, always conflicted with emotions he was always the one to keep me in check and offer perspective.  I have little to no memories of him ever becoming angry.  He is an example of life-long learning.  His talents in art and music are far greater today than I would have ever imagined he could become.  His kindness is an example for all of us.

I just want to finish off by saying that I have a few OTHER friends who touched my life when I was young.  Some of them are pictured above (although not all).  I was able to meet up with most of them after Pat's reception on Saturday.  I have words for each of them as well, but I will not write them here.  I hope to get to do that another time.  I love them all.  And spending time with those familiar faces brought me so much joy.  Ten years was far too long, and I hope I can bring these wonderful people together again for another reunion soon.

Beautiful babies

I really don't have much to say....except I just can't get over how cute my kids are. 

 

 

Oh and I love Picassa.  It makes me feel like a real photographer.  All 3 of these pictures were taken with my phone.

Beauty And The Beast

Last weekend we made a quick trip to Boise to see "Beauty and The Beast" the Broadway musical.  Friday we had our ward auction to raise money for the young men and young women, and the cub scouts.  Jayne came with me, and we actually had a lot of fun.  I felt pretty proud of myself because I stayed pretty close to our pre-determined "spending limit".  And Parker (once again) got tied up at work and didn't make it till it was pretty much over.

Anyway. Saturday morning Parker's parents arrived at our house at about 7:30.  Parker and his dad had a tee-time at a golf course in Eagle for like 9:40.  So Claudia stayed at the house with me and helped me get the kids ready and everything packed while Parker and his dad ran off to play golf.  We eventually arrived at my mom and dad's house and basically hung around until dinner time.  We had a very nice dinner at PF CHANGS.  Parker's parents, my parents, Derek and Amanda, and also my Boss (Dr. Thompson) and his wife (Sylvia).  We all had tickets to the play.

The play itself was pretty awesome.  I was so glad to see them dancing with the mugs on the song "Gaston!"  It was one of my favorite parts.  A few things had changed.  They cut 2 songs and added one new one.  This was my 3rd time seeing the play, so I had lots to compare it to.  However, I think my favorite part was talking to my boss afterward.  That was their first time seeing a broadway play and they were both just SOO AMAZED at how good it was!

The following morning we drove BACK home because I was singing in a fireside at 4:00.  The speaker was "Al Fox" (who is currently on the cover of LDS Living magazine).  And then the 2nd speaker was a 17 year old boy from Twin Falls who has been a convert for only 11 weeks.  AND who also happens to be a patient of mine.  HA!  What a coincidence!  The fireside was pretty neat.  I didn't sing as well as I would have liked to, but people tell me it was good. 

Weight-Loss Before and After

 My journey to lose weight has been a long one.  When Caleb was 2 years old, I graduated from Dental Hygiene school and we moved in with Parker's parents.  This time in my life was when my weight reached an all-time high.  Maxing out at 175 lbs.  It was during that time that I really started to hate myself.  Not like suicidal/depression stuff- but I really did hate my body.  I didn't shop much, but every time I did, I simply HATED it.  Clothes that LOOKED like they should fit me were not.  And I had to suck-it-in to button up my pants....thus producing the oh so gross "muffin top" or "spare tire" or "hangover."  Now please.  I know that my weight-loss struggle is NOTHING compared to what so many people have to go through.  And I didn't get near as big as I could have.  However.  I've decided that no matter WHO you are and HOW BIG you get, the process is so much the same.  You grow and grow, and your self image and self-esteem really starts to diminish.  Then a time comes when you decide that something has to change.  And it's WORK.  Every day work.  Mentally, and physically.  And every time I got on that scale, I had just enough motivation to get me through another day.  I was faithful at exercising for about 2 months and managed to lose about 8-10 lbs.  Then I got pregnant with Angie.  Another year went by, and I was right about where I had left off.  Actually no.  Where I had started.  172 lbs was about what I weighed when this photo was taken.

 Now I realize that the positioning of me being IN FRONT of Parker in this photo makes me look bigger than I am.  Still.  These family pictures was a BREAKING POINT for me.  I loved the pictures SO much but HATED the way I looked in them.  I remember the day before this photo shoot being a COMPLETE EMOTIONAL WRECK, and all because I was so afraid these pictures were going to make me look bad.  The week after these pictures were taken I got pregnant with Garrett.  Of course I didn't know it at the time, and I started a pretty strict diet and was able to lose about 15 lbs.  I think I got to about 155 or somewhere around that.  I was very motivated.  And also about 6 weeks into my third pregnancy.  Weight loss attempt- OVER.

After Garrett was born I took this picture below:  Please note this is NOT a "baby bump" picture.  There's no baby in there. 

This was taken in October of 2012 (at which time my weight was about 156).  I gained another 9 pounds after this picture was taken.  The holidays were NOT good to me.  New years day I started a diet.  I decided with baby Garrett still not quite sleeping through the night that I was not in a position to commit to exercising.  I work full time with 3 kids.  However.  I DO eat every day.  So I decided I could at least control what I eat.  Incase you don't recall, I'll give you a QUICK run-down on the rules of my diet:

*1200 calories a day (400 a meal).  Yes I counted every day.

*No sugar

*No deep fried foods

*No soda

*No bread

*No potatoes

*No white rice

*No pasta

*10-12 glasses of water a day

 

I made a few exceptions....I allowed myself to eat 1 roll or piece of bread if it was whole grain....but I only did it every few days or so.  I also did whole-grain pasta....only a few times though.  As long as I stayed within the calorie limit I figured it was ok once in a while. 

I did this for about 3 months and went from162 lbs to 142.  My goal was 140.  I've reached 140 a couple times....but my body seems to be trying REALLY hard to stay right around 142.  I quit fighting it and decided I'm at a good stopping point.  For now. 

Here's my AFTER pictures.

20 pounds lost!

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Now I am exercising and Garrett is sleeping through the night.  I still watch what I eat.  But I'm not counting calories anymore.  I jog for 30 minutes on weekdays and then do some stretching, sit-ups, and girly push-ups in my living room.

Here's the thing that makes it ALL worth it:

I feel great.

And I don't hate my body. 

And my Husband (who never complained before) has some new-found attraction to me.

(TMI?  Sorry.  It's true.)

And I've had 2 patients notice.  Last week one of my patients walked in and took one look at me and said, "Heather you look how THIN you are!  Is this the smallest you've been in a long time?"

I informed her that I'd lost about 20 lbs and she then went on to tell me how good I looked and it just felt so good.  Mostly because I didn't ask.  My husband compliments me all the time...and of course I enjoy that too.  But he has watched me go through it.  Coming from a patient it's different.  Because I didn't ask or even bring it up.  They noticed and felt like they should say something.

The second one came today.  From a man (shocker I know).  He sat in the dental chair, we went through the routine, "How are you today?"  "I'm good, how are you."  I said, "I'm doing well."  and then he just out of the blue said, "You look good....did you change something?" 

I said, "Well....not really, I've lost 20 lbs...but that's about it."  And then he was like, "Oh.  Ok. I thought so....but I didn't want to bring it up incase I was wrong."

Anyway. It just amazes me that my patients (who only see me 2 or 3 times a year) are starting to notice too.  All I can say, is I am grateful for the motivation and self-dicipline that it took to get where I am.  And I'm grateful for the support of my husband and my parents.  I couldn't have done it without them.

Last I want to add that Parker has lost about 15 pounds since new years as well.  He isn't following a strict diet like I did.  But simply eating LESS at each meal.  Just yesterday we discovered that several of his pants (particularly his temple pants....which we'd just gotten new a few months ago) are lose on him.  I can tell in his face the most that he has lost weight.  He has about another 10 pounds to go before he reaches his goal.  I'm really proud of him too.

Conversation with Caleb...

Today while driving home from Shasta's house, we passed the Twin Falls County Fairgrounds.  The fence had hundreds of purple ribbons tied to it.  Caleb pointed to the ribbons and said, "Mom!  I know what those ribbons mean!" 
"You do?"
"Yeah.  They're for people with cancer."
Remembering that relay for life is next week I said,
"Yeah I think you're right."
"It's like jump-rope for heart, mom.  Except for people with cancer."
Yep.  We then drive passed an exceptionally old lady driving in a power-chair down the sidewalk.
"You see that lady mom?  SHE has cancer."
"Really?  Are you sure....I don't think so."
"Yes.  She does.  And see that little boy?"  (He points to a little boy riding a bike).  "He has.....well he doesn't have cancer.  But he DOES have a really nice bike."

Garrett- 8 months

I got a couple videos of Garrett.  Now that he's on antibiotics, he's back to his happy little self again.  He's got TWO teeth now, and they're so cute.  They've even got that perfect baby tooth anatomy complete with mamelons.  I'm starting to think he's gonna get some more teeth, because when he gets something in his mouth, he just RUBBS and shakes his head so hard.....like those little teeth are just irritating him so much.  It's quite the learning experience for me, since this is the first time (in 3 kids) that I've ever had a teething baby.  The doctor said his ear infections and cough from last week probably came because his immune system was supressed from teething.  Joy.  Today was the last day of antibiotics....now that it's gone, he'll probably get another cold.  Lets hope not.

My baby has also out-grown his car seat. The weight limit is 20 lbs.  Well...he's there.  In fact he's been there for a while now.  We're going to have to move Angie's second car-seat into my car.  I've always loved having 2 car seats so we don't have to move it from vehicle to vehicle.  But we've just got too many kids now.  And I can't justify spending 75-100 bucks on a new one...even though we probably should (car-seat laws and regulations are ever-changing).  But his car-seat is still my favorite place to feed him.  It's easier than the high-chair because his head is tipped back and it's easier to sneak bites into his mouth.  Anyway.

The second video is Garrett NOT crawling.  He won't even roll from his stomach to his back anymore.  I'm really not sure why.  He used to do it...in fact when he FIRST started rolling he started on his stomach and rolled to his back.  Now he goes from his back to his stomach and then just lies there.  He'll spin himself in a complete 360- but he won't get up on his hands and knees or even do an army-crawl.  I'm sure he'll get it.  It's just kinda funny.  I remember Angie AND Caleb rolling across the room at this age.  Garrett is just taking his time I guess.

Fridays

Friday is my day off.  I truly LOVE and HATE this day.  Mostly I love it.  But sometimes it stresses me out.  It is the only weekday that I get to be a stay-at-home mom.  My kids look forward to it every week.  And to top it off, every Friday night we let the kids stay up for "smoothie night."  We pick a movie, pop popcorn and make fruit smoothies.  It started off with just Caleb for smoothie night, but we've let Angie stay up a couple times too, and now I don't think she'll let us go back.  Since she's been asking me EVERY DAY "Is it smoothie night?" 

Anyway.  Friday may be my day off....but it's also my busiest day of the week.  I wake up normal time because Caleb still has school....although I don't usually finish getting myself ready like on other weekdays, because I get to go back home after I've dropped him off.  After Caleb is taken to school, I usually spend another 30 minutes at home doing my makeup and eating breakfast.  Then I pack up Angie and Garrett and head to the grocery store.  I also run any other errands that need done at this time.  Stops to the bank, trips to the DI, paying of bills, and so on.  Usually we're in Twin until about 11:30.  When I get home I bring the groceries in and then put Garrett down for a nap and then fix lunch for Angie and I.  After lunch, sometimes she gets a nap.  But if I have too much to do, it doesn't happen because GETTING HER TO SLEEP, usually takes at least 30 minutes.  Sometimes it's less, but sometimes it's more too.  She's a stubborn little thing, and I usually have to lie by her and scratch her back and tell her A MILLION TIMES to stop talking and go to sleep.

If she does go to sleep, I usually have about 1 hour to get some chores done before it's time to get Caleb from school (because every Friday is early release).  Most of the time the bathrooms need scrubbed, or the floors need mopped.  VERY RARELY do I get these things done before it's time to get Caleb.  If the kids are still asleep when school gets out....I leave them at home and drive the 2 blocks to the elementry school to pick up Caleb.  (Insert appauled and shocking gasps here for being a bad mom who neglects her children for 5 minutes while they sleep.  I really don't care.  Angie always sleeps for an hour and a half.  Don't worry.  If they're awake I'll bring them along.  I just don't see the point of interrupting PRECIOUS nap time (that in many cases took SO MUCH TIME to achieve in the first place) just for a quick trip to the school.)  ANYWAY! 

After Caleb gets home, he usually runs over to the neighbor's house and plays for the rest of the afternoon.  Honestly I hardly ever see him till dinner. There are 3 houses on our street where he can go and play at any time.  And he does.  During that time I am usually running FRANTICALLY to get the house picked up and my little chores finished before Parker gets home.  Because my one day as a stay at home mom is not the day my house is the CLEANEST....but the day my house is the MESSIEST.  I've resorted to deep-cleaning (such as toilet scrubbing and floor mopping) AROUND the mess of toys....because I've learned that there WILL ALWAYS be toys and clothes on the floor.  And they get picked up every evening.  But every day they're back.  So if there are other chores to be done.....the house goes to pot while I get those other things done.  Cuz if I picked up the house first...I'd never get around to anything else. 

Parker gets home, and I usually try to have an early dinner, so we can get the movie started so it won't end too late.  Most of the time Parker drinks his smoothie, and falls asleep on the couch before the movie gets over.  Half of the time one of the kids is sitting in his lap and falls asleep with him.  It's pretty cute actually.  I rinse the smoothie cups, throw away any excess popcorn and old-maids and then crawl into my queen-sized bed by myself.  I stretch onto Parker's half and doze off with a lamp on incase he decides to mozie-on-in during the night.  I'd say about half the time he does.

I love my Fridays.  Sometimes they stress me out a little.  The house is always a mess, but it's my day to feel like I'm doing what I love.  My greatest desire is to get to stay at home with my kids every day.  Unfortunately it's not possible at this time.  But Friday it is.  And I love getting to be who I always wanted to be, and doing what I love more than anything else.....for this one day of the week.