January

Twas the month after Christmas
And all through the house
Nothing would fit me
Not even a blouse

The cookies I'd nibbled
The chocolate I'd taste
At the holiday parties
Had gone to my waist

When I got on the scales
There arose such a number!
When I walked to the store
(less a walk than a lumber)

I'd remember the marvellous meals I'd prepared
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared
The wine and the rum balls the bread and the cheesee
And the way I'd never said "No thank you please."

As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt…
I said to myself as I only can
"You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"

So away with the last of the sour cream dip
Get rid of the fruit cake every cracker and chip.
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
Till all the additional pounds have vanished.

I won't have a cookie not even a lick.
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
I won't have hot biscuits or corn bread or pie.
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

I'm hungry I'm lonesome and life is a bore...
But isn't that what January is for?
Unable to giggle no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet